How to lose 7mbps of download speed in one simple step aka. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM EIR IRELAND!


The story continues.

After many many hours of fighting Eir Ireland – success. I got my 25/5 mbps speeds back… I must be happy right? Wrong…

“Oh my God… He is complaining again! What the fuck is wrong this time?”

I am glad you’ve asked. Well. I signed up for broadband only account. No landline. €40 for the first 6 months. €45 from there on.

6 months have passed – I get a letter. “We are happy to inform you – we have increased your bill by €5 per month so instead of paying €45 as we previously assured you you would – you will be paying €50… HOORAY! Oh yeah and we also now have 24/7 customer support.”

Fuck you Eir Ireland. Fuck you. After everything I’ve been thru – this is how you fucking treat me? So I called loyalty department and asked is this how they treat all the customers and I asked how can they do this and sleep at night. Quinn – I think this is how you spell her name – listened and after a while she offered a special promo to me. “If you add a landline to your account you will actually pay €5 less…”. Fine I said. But will it change anything else? Internet speed. Any other hidden costs? No? Super! Bring it on. Naive stupid me… “Technician will have to gain access to your apartment.” Sure! Why not. I will be paying €45 as agreed. 18 months contract. No changes. Great!

One day (maybe one week ago) I called my wife from work, during the call – doorbell. Wife says “Eir technician to install landline.” Ok. Whatever.

I came back home and something was fishy right away. Internet seemed slower…

Checked speeds – instead of 25/5 mbps I am getting 18/5… Arrgh. I said to myself maybe it needs to properly set itself as it did before. Will leave it for now.

One week later (today) I checked again…


I also checked router xDSL stats…

VDSL Training Status: Showtime
Mode: VDSL2 Annex B
VDSL Profile: Profile 17a
Traffic Type: PTM Mode
Link Uptime: 5 days: 12 hours: 35 minutes
VDSL Port Details Upstream Downstream
Line Rate: 5.117 Mbps 18.430 Mbps
Actual Net Data Rate: 5.118 Mbps 18.431 Mbps
Trellis Coding: ON ON
SNR Margin: 10.3 dB 19.1 dB
Actual Delay: 0 ms 0 ms
Transmit Power: 7.1 dBm 9.8 dBm
Receive Power: -8.9 dBm -15.7 dBm
Actual INP: 29.0 symbols 29.0 symbols
Total Attenuation: 16.2 dB 25.5 dB
Attainable Net Data Rate: 6.018 Mbps 34.076 Mbps

Look at this part:

Line Rate: 5.117 Mbps 18.430 Mbps
Actual Net Data Rate: 5.118 Mbps 18.431 Mbps

It usually said 5.117 Mbps Mbps.

So I called the 24/7 broadband support and asked for the profile to be changed to 30/6. They cannot. My line is not capable of 25/5 max is 18/5.

I told them – I am living in the same house for 3.5 years. I was getting up to 27/5.5 speeds before. How can they just change the speeds like that?


“I don’t know… Maybe if you call billing department in the morning they can help. I don’t even have the option to change to anything above 18/5”

I am sooo sick and tired of those bastards… Incompetent motherfuckers. Bunch of cretins. Horde of morons. I hate you all. I will make sure not a single one from my friends / family will EVER sign up with you. As soon as the fucking 18 months will be over (maybe sooner – fuck the early cancellation fee) I am moving to another provider. You can kiss my big white ass you cock-sucking assholes. I will dip my cheeks in bacon and cabbage so you can taste a bit of home food while you’re at it. Find a forest fire and die in it.

To be continued altho I am not sure if I can be arsed to call them again. I am so sick and tired – I feel like puking every time I think of Eir Ireland.




"Never meet Your heroes. Most of the time you'll only end up disappointed." White Polak Male Husband Employee Hetero Carnivorous Fugly Geek @$$hole with ADD Catholic “Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.